It hurts so much, but I can’t change it. Sometimes the only truth that it was real is the pain that we feel, from the memories, from the love. You were amazing, why did you have to let me go? Why couldn’t you have fought harder, why didn’t you want me? Why did it have to be bad timing, I miss you so much. Every day, I think of you and what we could have been. I wish I could run into you and take in your smile, your smell my baby one last time forever and forever again. When I kissed you in your car, really kissed you and I said that I liked you a lot, what I really meant was I loved you a lot. I didn’t say it with my words but I said it through my kisses and the passion. I will cherish that moment with me forever, the last time I felt we were really me and you. You said to me, “you’re always on my mind and always in my heart.” Don’t forget me please, I wanted to be your everything, but now I feel so sad. I’m afraid that I’ll never find anyone like you.
I wanted to go to New York with you
See a Coldplay show with you
Travel the world with you
Make love to you over and over again
Spend my life with you
But you through it all away for a little bit of fun
I am hurting so much right now and I know it’s cruel but I hope you’re hurting more than I am because I hate you and love you so much and it isn’t fair. It really isn’t.
Just fuck you.
I know that I still have time left with you, but I want to say it before it’s too late. Thank you. I know that I say it at least 30 + times a day, but when I say ‘thank you’ this time, I mean it when you say thank you. Once, but it truly means thank you, when you say it.
You have taught me to love someone with my whole heart and you have taught me that fear doesn’t have to be an obstacle from letting us do the things that are most important to us. Overtime I have learnt that the world is filled with endless opportunities, that can open doors to new paths, and experiences. I am so happy that I decided to take on the challenge to bringing you here, otherwise I wouldn’t have met the love (I think) of my life.
I know these words are big, so I won’t tell you just yet. But I feel it when I look at you, something stirs in my stomach and it feels right. I know, you say that you can’t do the long distance, (I’m not sure if I can either) but I’m willing to at least try and fight for us, because I feel something so special (and I hope you feel it too).
Just a couple of last words to leave you with:
I am no longer the girl with the vacant smile because of you (the boy with jade coloured eyes) and I will forever be grateful for that ❤